• Angelene Woodard

Do You Believe the Loser Lie?

Our kids argue. A lot. They tease and aggravate one another constantly.

Somebody inevitable starts to whine or cry. Then there’s all this annoying tattling going on. And they want me to intervene and fix the problem they created.

They are loud and irritable and immature.

Then I get all loud. And irritable. And immature.

It ain’t pretty, folks.

Little Brother has recently been telling Big Brother, “You’re a loser. Get a life!”.

Well, this gets Big Brother all upset and offended. Apparently, he finds it necessary to scream and yell and threaten bodily harm in order to defend this horrific insult.

What’s so mind boggling is that neither of them really even know what this comment means. Big Bro is in the 5th grade for cryin’ out loud. What kind of life does he need to get exactly? What contest did he lose?

None of that matters though. What matters is Little Bro has the upper hand right this very instant. Big Bro hates that.

When the tables are turned, Little Bro is weak and whiny and helpless. He insists Mommy do something to remedy Big Bro’s bullying.

So, I finally tried something different.

Currently, I am trying to teach my children how to take care of their own problems. (FYI: This is more work for me. It’s definitely harder than just fixing the problem for them.)

I walk each child through their specific scenario and role play. We look for different ways of handling arguments.

Here’s what I suggest they do.

  1. Think about what is really being said.

  2. Consider whether or not it’s even true.

  3. Ask yourself why your brother would even be saying those things in the first place.

  4. Decide if you really want to engage in this nonsense. If so, why?

We role play these little scenarios when the boys are right smack in the middle of the fight.

That’s right. I get all up in the middle of their business as the voice of reason.

I do not take sides. I do not tell each one what they should or should not be doing/saying/feeling. I simply step in and get everyone to stop reacting.

See, the arguing escalates when we are overly emotional. Well, at least that’s how it is at my house.

Guess what happens when we step back, remove emotions from the equation, and evaluate why something is happening. We come up with solutions.

That’s what!

The boys are starting to figure out that the other brother doesn’t even know what he’s talking about half the time anyway. He’s just trying to get a reaction out of the other one.

They are starting to realize that they don’t have to feel a certain way just because another person says something negative about them.

We’re still in the learning stages around here. But, for the sake of my sanity we had to try something different from the fighting/tattling cycle. It’s slowly starting to make a difference.

So, what’s the point of this fascinating story here?

Well, I recently realized I can combat Satan’s bullying using this method of rationale.

Let’s say he whispers, “You’re a loser because you don’t prepare healthy dinners regularly and you don’t pray with them every night before bed and you don’t do arts and crafts with them and they fight like little crazed maniacs.”.

(Yes, Satan speaks in run-on sentences.)

Here’s the truth: All of that is 100% accurate. The enemy speaks truth.

The problem is he’s leaving out a whole bunch of other truth as well.

Here’s what I’ve started doing:

  1. Think about what is really being said.

  2. Consider whether or not it’s even true.

  3. Ask myself why the enemy would even be saying those things in the first place.

  4. Decide if I really want to engage in this nonsense. If so, why?

I remove all personal emotions. I lay my obvious weaknesses and shortcomings to the side momentarily, so I can get a better grasp on what’s really happening.

I don’t have to believe all his fake truth. I know Satan is simply doing the only thing he can.

He’s a liar. He’s THE liar. So, he’s just gonna wander around all day and try to trip me up by throwing darts of shame/inadequecy/guilt loaded with half-truths.

I don’t have to feel a certain way about my mothering abilities just because Satan says I should.

It is imperative that I remember allllll the things I am getting right with the help of the Lord.

Additionally, I should consider if any of those deficiencies are a true conviction from God or not.

For instance:

  • True, I don’t prepare super healthy meals on a nightly basis. However, I am consistently limiting our children’s sugar intake. Annnnd we only have frozen pizza like once a week – not four times a week.

  • True, I don’t pray with the children every night before bed. However, I do pray with them during our homeschool day.

  • Also true, I don’t prepare arts and crafts projects for us to enjoy together. However, I let them paint, play Play-doh, and use every single last sheet of printer paper to draw on and cut up into tiny little shreds.

  • Yes, I have allowed some bad habits to escalate within our home resulting in lots of fighting between the little crazed maniacs. However, I’ve never been a mom before. I have no clue what I am doing. It’s taking some trial and error. But, I’m working on it.

Now, if the Lord convicts me about my family’s diet, then I will make a few changes.

If the Lord convicts me to pray with the children more than once a day, then I will make a change.

If the Lord says I need to play Play-doh, then I will do that.

If the Lord says I need to get a better handle on my children and their behavior, then I will do that as well.

But if Satan is the only one telling me this stuff? I’m just going to ignore his nonsense.

We can interrupt the cycle of hearing/believing the lies. We can evaluate who is actually sending these messages to our hearts and minds. We can acknowledge that being imperfect doesn't make us a loser.

At the end of the day, Lucifer is just an annoying jerk we have to deal with because we’re Christians.

His lying tactics are lame, predictable, and unsophisticated. Honestly, he just needs to get a life. What a loser.

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