Truth: You Are Not Enough (and That's Okay)
We’ve all seen it. Or heard it. Or heck, maybe even a part of us wants to believe it.
YOU ARE ENOUGH --- I AM ENOUGH
The message seems to be a good one. Wholesome. Uplifting. Encouraging and empowering.
However, I can’t help but laugh at how absolutely ludicrous the message is: I am enough.
Uh, no. I’m not. I beg to differ.
I know it. My husband really knows it. My kids see it day in and day out.
Have you seen me cook? Have you seen me trying to homeschool the children? What about the inside of my closet/drawers/van/refrigerator/bank account?
Believe me, I am so not enough when I open my mouth to sing aloud. It’s baaad, y'all.
I wasn’t enough that time I tried to color my hair “dark golden blonde” and it turned out orange. (That’s the last time I take advice from a pink haired Sally’s employee.)
Thank you anyway, Hollywood.
I appreciate the sentiment, Social Media.
Thanks, but, no thanks, Political Correctness.
Part of me wants to believe it. But, another part of me laughs saying, “As if!”.
No matter how hard I try, I am not ever going to be enough.
Believe me. I have tried.
I have worked. I have made self-improvement a priority. I have devoted my life to my husband and children and wanted to be better for them.
I so desperately want to be enough. I don’t want to be a loser.
And still. I fail.
Yeah, I know. The You Are Enough slogan is supposed to help me realize all my hidden potential. If I dare to believe such a sweet little thought, I may have more confidence. I could possibly quit comparing myself to others. I may even learn to love my frizzy (orange) hair and skin tags. Heck, I could even win the lottery if I just believed in myself a little bit more.
The implications here are dramatically misleading.
Seriously. Am I just supposed to be okay with my imperfections?
Am I supposed to be okay with losing my temper with the kids again?
Am I supposed to be okay with not having enough money to put food on the table?
Am I supposed to be okay with the fact that I can’t heal my child’s illness?
What about the doctors? Are they enough?
Am I supposed to be okay with a strained marriage? What if my man cheats? Am I enough then? I guess so. Maybe he’s the one with the problem. Because I am enough. Right?
What if I cheat? Are there any issues there? Or am I still enough?
Am I supposed to be okay with my borderline addiction to wine/chocolate/iPhone/shopping/lesbian porn/pills?
Or maybe I’m supposed to find self-worth in the I Am Enough statement.
The love I have for myself should be a top priority. Right? It’s all about Number One. I come first. I am a Rockstar…even though I don’t feel like a Rockstar.
It doesn’t matter that I have residual pain left over from childhood abuse. Nope. I don’t need healing. I just need to believe that I am a-okay.
It doesn’t matter that I made some pretty horrible mistakes as a young adult and need to take the time to ask myself why. Nah. I will just push all that under the rug. Because – I am enough the way I am right now.
It doesn’t matter that I destroyed a pretty fantastic relationship and miss it so very much. I know I should ask forgiveness. But, I’m not gonna go there. No need. Currently, I am enough.
So. Which is it?
1. I am okay with being imperfect and don’t need to improve on any area of my life?
2. I have magically found self-worth and happiness?
The IAmEnough belief is garbage. Hogwash. An empty promise.
Here’s the problem with You Are Enough: It directs us to only look at ourselves.
We are to believe that we are enough – literally.
If – for some reason (reality sets in) – we believe we are not enough, then we must only look to ourselves for the solution.
You Are Enough completely and totally leaves God out of the picture.
You Are Enough allows us to worship ourselves.
When we believe we are enough, we don’t need help. We don’t need fixing. We don’t need forgiveness. We don’t need healing. We don’t need to be accepted by anyone other than ourselves.
We can take a look around this broken world and see just how well that’s working out.
How’s it working out for you?
Do you need help? Do you need forgiveness? Do you need to feel love and worth?
And lemme be the first to say – I need all of those things from someone other than myself.
Dear Christian Wife, tired Christian Mama, hurting Christian Woman Who Is a Total Mess on the Inside,
May I offer you a lasting solution?
May I humbly suggest you stop searching for inner peace, inner acceptance, and the feeling of enough-ness?
All that is necessary is a turning toward Jesus.
He is all we need. He is enough.
And I’m not saying that in a generic Sunday School kinda way.
For real. We need Him.
We need His holy presence to be right smack in the middle of our days. All our mistakes. All our chaos and misery.
He knows us better than we know ourselves. He already knows our imperfections, weaknesses, and deficiencies.
He knows our faults, our wrong-doings, our secret sins.
He knows our feeble hearts, our unstable minds, and our defective relationships.
And He loves us anyway.
He wants to walk with us hand in hand, side by side, heart to messy heart.
We can keep on trying to love ourselves in spite of ourselves. We can keep trying to be our own healer. Our own counselor. Our own best friend.
But, it’s a fruitless pursuit.
There are no lasting answers when we look to ourselves. And there is only emptiness when we worship ourselves.
Let’s just give it up. Give up the dream of being enough (aka: perfect the way we are).
What if we just admitted we aren’t enough? I think we may find a little freedom there.
What if we embraced our true selves? What if we quit trying to be something we’re not? Sounds like rest to me.
What if we surrendered to the glorious truth that we are imperfect sinners and the only way we’re ever going to get it right is by being wrong?
Yep, we gotta be wrong before He can make us right.
The way I see it - we can keep pretending we are enough.
Or we can accept the fact that we will never be enough and let God Almighty fill in the gaps on our behalf.
For He is enough. He is Enough.
Enough is enough.
As always, your comments are welcome here.
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